Post by Marciana - admin on Apr 17, 2007 8:27:14 GMT
This is delayed by an entire week, as are the 4-10-2007 ECW results and 4-13-2007 Friday Night Smackdown! results, so sorry about that, but it's here.
PREVIEW --- HBK faces RKO in a #1 Contender's Match, and Edge's special guest on the return of The Cutting Edge will be the WWE Champ John Cena.
Opening Segment --- Here comes the moneeeeeeey. Shane comes out and talks about how the McMahon family has been humiliated and has been disrespected at Wrestlemania by Bobby Lashley. Lashley comes out and Shane says he wants to take from Lashley the one thing he cares about: The ECW Championship. So it's Shane vs Lashley for the ECW Championship. Lashley makes the match interesting (I don't say "more" because Lashley vs McMahon is really boring me) by adding a hair stipulation. So now it's Lashley vs Shane in a Title vs Hair match later tonight. Umaga and AAE come out too, but Shane tells them to back off coz he's doing it on his own and his way.
Match 1 -- Mickie James and Candice Michelle vs Melina (c) and Victoria --- Yay, a Divas match on RAW with 4 of 5 Divas who can wrestle on RAW! (Maria's getting good, don't look at me like that.) PS - Candice is wearing the same thing she wore on the last RAW before Wrestlemania, only this time there's a black corset under The Bustier That Hides Nothing. Mickie and Candice defeat Melina and Victoria in 5:00 after Mickie hit Mickie-DT on Victoria. That spinning leg kick of Candice actually looks better from the ground instead of elevated, which is how she did it the first time she tried it. All it needs now is a name. Other than running Enzuiguri, I mean.
Backstage Segment --- Mick Foley is introducing Make-A-Wish Foundation's Michael Peña to various Superstars and Divas backstage to help him along his Honorary GM job. Hillarious moment with the McAllister cousins where they panic and run off when Mick says Michael can make them shave their beards if he wants, he's GM, dammit.
In-Ring Promo --- Carlito and Flair come out for a tag team match. Torrie is along for the ride too, with her puppies. Only 2 of them, Chloe isn't around, sorry. Anyway. Carlito brings it back to when Flair accused Carlito of not having enough passion and drive. Carlito says it's not everyday you get a wake-up call from a 16-time world champ. Ric Flair And The Four Horsemen DVD highlight video. After the video, Carlito says Ric Flair had gold in the video, and he can have it again, because if they win tonight, they get a shot at the Tag Team titles at Backlash in less than 2 weeks. Flair has NO MIC TIME, but gets a lot of WOOOOOOOOOOS from the crowd.
Match 2 -- Carlito (w/Torrie) and Ric Flair vs Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch --- The match is JIP from commercial break, but not that it really matters. Cade and Murdoch win in 4:00. Carlito is NOT HAPPY. Flair tries to console him, but Carlito goes all emo and leaves. Torrie tries to follow him, Carlito's apple not forgotten either.
Locker Room Segment --- Coach barges into Shane's dressing/locker room. Shane is psyching himself up for his main event match, so he's all pissed off that Coach didn't even knock. Coach wants to give Shane guidance, since, you know, he gives Vince guidance. Shane says that's not even a good thing because Coach's guidance has gotten Vince bald. BURN, LOLZ. Shane tells him to save his guidance for everybody else because he's going to focus on his match.
Interview Segment --- The Grish is interviewing HBK and Ortz interrupts and says Shawn's soooooo gonna lose to him. Shawn goes into this great contest host thing: "Congratulations! Randy Orton, you are the 1000th person to tell me I won't amount to anything! Tell him what he's won, Todd!" The Grish: O.O
HBK tells Ortz he's won a pair of dentures which he's going to need once HBK's kicked all of Ortz's teeth out of his face, courtesy of some Sweet Chin Music. Ortz has no better comeback than "We'll see about that...We'll see about that." Kinda like last week. But lolz.
Match 3 -- HBK Shawn Michaels vs RKO Randy Orton in a #1 Contender's Match --- HBK comes out to "Sexy Boy", and it doesn't even register with me until he gets down on his knees. SRSLEH. Anyway. It's a great wrestling match, and then Edge comes down to the ring and Ortz is all like, "zOMG GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" and Edge does his EvoL Grin of DOOOOOM. Anyway. Edge does stuff to distract both men enough, and the match ends with a confusion. One ref, who came out to replace the first ref who got knocked on his ass to the outside said HBK won coz he's all the way covered Orton, but the other ref says HBK's shoulders were down, so Orton wins (even if Orton has made no indication whatsoever of pinning HBK, not even a toe), so what we now have is a double pin finish, and Edge goes up the ramp saying "They pinned each other, I'm number 1 contender!" The crowd is booing him. LOLZ.
Locker Room Segment --- Randy Orton barges into Shane's locker room and demands to be named number 1 contender. Shane is NOT HAPPY with Ortz and tells him to take it up with Coach. Orton apologizes for barging in impolitely and goes away.
Backstage Segment --- Mick is still introducing Michael to other people. Val Venis and Super Crazy talk to Michael in Spanish (Val speaks it fluently, how awesome is that). Johnny Nitro makes his first appearance in a long time since Melina became Women's Champ. And he doesn't say anything. YAY. Coach comes over and gets all in Michael's grill for being Honorary GM, as if he wasn't already a big enough dick by just existing on RAW. Edge comes in and Michael has something he'd like to say to Coach, but Coach isn't listening. Hmmmm...
Match 4 -- The Hardys vs The World's Greatest Tag Team --- Matt is still on Smackdown! officially, wtf, the titles are split over two brands. The Hardys win in 4:00. Typical great match to watch, one that you'd expect from athletes like those 4. Again, Shelton gets in another great spot where he leapt up to the top rope and hit a 10-foot high enzuiguri on Jeffrey.
The Cutting Edge --- Edge comments on what happened in the Ortz vs HBK match. Orton's music hits and he's not even posing he's so angry. He comes out and gets all angry at Edge and he's shouting that he won that match and he's number 1 contender and is it horribly disturbing that I'm finding Angry!Shouting!Orton really hot? I digress. HBK comes out and makes his claim as number 1 contender as well, because HBK vs Cena will be the Rematch To End All Rematches (or something to the effect of). John Cena comes out and until his music ends, you don't really hear the boos. Lolz. John comes out with a great line right off the bat: "We're out here, supposed to be talking about the WWE Championship, but y'all are out here talking about each other's packages!" I don't remember what happened to Edge's package, but Cena says Randy's never had one and Shawn's unhappy with what he's got, lolz. He addresses all 3 one by one, saying he beat Edge in Edge's hometown, so if Edge wants to be broken in half again, give him the where and when. He tells Ortz that he's just never had enough guts to step up to the plate and make a challenge, but now that he's figured it's his time and he's ready and if he wants to dance, John is easy to find. John agrees with HBK that their Wrestlemania rematch would be Friggin' Sweet (eeeehehehehehehe, for those of you who know). Coach interrupts and says he makes the decisions around here, and he decides that at Backlash, Cena will face off against Edge and Ortz, and whoever gets the pin gets the championship. Mick and Michael come out and overrule him (YAAAAAAAAAAAY), and says the Backlash main event will be Cena vs Ortz vs Edge vs HBK for the WWE Championship. Let's see Cena stay undefeated at Backlash now, says Cena haters.
Match 5 -- Bobby Lashley (c) vs Shane McMahon - Title vs Hair match --- Lashley won by DQ after Shane knocked the ref out. Vince then comes down to the ring with AAE and Umaga and tells Lashley that at Backlash, it will be Lashley vs Umaga vs Shane vs Vince for the ECW Championship. OY VAY.
After RAW Went Off The Air --- The McMahons and Umaga continue to humiliate and beat up Lashley, and then Vince puts on the ECW belt and parades around as if it's his.
~ MARCIANA ~
PREVIEW --- HBK faces RKO in a #1 Contender's Match, and Edge's special guest on the return of The Cutting Edge will be the WWE Champ John Cena.
Opening Segment --- Here comes the moneeeeeeey. Shane comes out and talks about how the McMahon family has been humiliated and has been disrespected at Wrestlemania by Bobby Lashley. Lashley comes out and Shane says he wants to take from Lashley the one thing he cares about: The ECW Championship. So it's Shane vs Lashley for the ECW Championship. Lashley makes the match interesting (I don't say "more" because Lashley vs McMahon is really boring me) by adding a hair stipulation. So now it's Lashley vs Shane in a Title vs Hair match later tonight. Umaga and AAE come out too, but Shane tells them to back off coz he's doing it on his own and his way.
Match 1 -- Mickie James and Candice Michelle vs Melina (c) and Victoria --- Yay, a Divas match on RAW with 4 of 5 Divas who can wrestle on RAW! (Maria's getting good, don't look at me like that.) PS - Candice is wearing the same thing she wore on the last RAW before Wrestlemania, only this time there's a black corset under The Bustier That Hides Nothing. Mickie and Candice defeat Melina and Victoria in 5:00 after Mickie hit Mickie-DT on Victoria. That spinning leg kick of Candice actually looks better from the ground instead of elevated, which is how she did it the first time she tried it. All it needs now is a name. Other than running Enzuiguri, I mean.
Backstage Segment --- Mick Foley is introducing Make-A-Wish Foundation's Michael Peña to various Superstars and Divas backstage to help him along his Honorary GM job. Hillarious moment with the McAllister cousins where they panic and run off when Mick says Michael can make them shave their beards if he wants, he's GM, dammit.
In-Ring Promo --- Carlito and Flair come out for a tag team match. Torrie is along for the ride too, with her puppies. Only 2 of them, Chloe isn't around, sorry. Anyway. Carlito brings it back to when Flair accused Carlito of not having enough passion and drive. Carlito says it's not everyday you get a wake-up call from a 16-time world champ. Ric Flair And The Four Horsemen DVD highlight video. After the video, Carlito says Ric Flair had gold in the video, and he can have it again, because if they win tonight, they get a shot at the Tag Team titles at Backlash in less than 2 weeks. Flair has NO MIC TIME, but gets a lot of WOOOOOOOOOOS from the crowd.
Match 2 -- Carlito (w/Torrie) and Ric Flair vs Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch --- The match is JIP from commercial break, but not that it really matters. Cade and Murdoch win in 4:00. Carlito is NOT HAPPY. Flair tries to console him, but Carlito goes all emo and leaves. Torrie tries to follow him, Carlito's apple not forgotten either.
Locker Room Segment --- Coach barges into Shane's dressing/locker room. Shane is psyching himself up for his main event match, so he's all pissed off that Coach didn't even knock. Coach wants to give Shane guidance, since, you know, he gives Vince guidance. Shane says that's not even a good thing because Coach's guidance has gotten Vince bald. BURN, LOLZ. Shane tells him to save his guidance for everybody else because he's going to focus on his match.
Interview Segment --- The Grish is interviewing HBK and Ortz interrupts and says Shawn's soooooo gonna lose to him. Shawn goes into this great contest host thing: "Congratulations! Randy Orton, you are the 1000th person to tell me I won't amount to anything! Tell him what he's won, Todd!" The Grish: O.O
HBK tells Ortz he's won a pair of dentures which he's going to need once HBK's kicked all of Ortz's teeth out of his face, courtesy of some Sweet Chin Music. Ortz has no better comeback than "We'll see about that...We'll see about that." Kinda like last week. But lolz.Match 3 -- HBK Shawn Michaels vs RKO Randy Orton in a #1 Contender's Match --- HBK comes out to "Sexy Boy", and it doesn't even register with me until he gets down on his knees. SRSLEH. Anyway. It's a great wrestling match, and then Edge comes down to the ring and Ortz is all like, "zOMG GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE" and Edge does his EvoL Grin of DOOOOOM. Anyway. Edge does stuff to distract both men enough, and the match ends with a confusion. One ref, who came out to replace the first ref who got knocked on his ass to the outside said HBK won coz he's all the way covered Orton, but the other ref says HBK's shoulders were down, so Orton wins (even if Orton has made no indication whatsoever of pinning HBK, not even a toe), so what we now have is a double pin finish, and Edge goes up the ramp saying "They pinned each other, I'm number 1 contender!" The crowd is booing him. LOLZ.
Locker Room Segment --- Randy Orton barges into Shane's locker room and demands to be named number 1 contender. Shane is NOT HAPPY with Ortz and tells him to take it up with Coach. Orton apologizes for barging in impolitely and goes away.
Backstage Segment --- Mick is still introducing Michael to other people. Val Venis and Super Crazy talk to Michael in Spanish (Val speaks it fluently, how awesome is that). Johnny Nitro makes his first appearance in a long time since Melina became Women's Champ. And he doesn't say anything. YAY. Coach comes over and gets all in Michael's grill for being Honorary GM, as if he wasn't already a big enough dick by just existing on RAW. Edge comes in and Michael has something he'd like to say to Coach, but Coach isn't listening. Hmmmm...
Match 4 -- The Hardys vs The World's Greatest Tag Team --- Matt is still on Smackdown! officially, wtf, the titles are split over two brands. The Hardys win in 4:00. Typical great match to watch, one that you'd expect from athletes like those 4. Again, Shelton gets in another great spot where he leapt up to the top rope and hit a 10-foot high enzuiguri on Jeffrey.
The Cutting Edge --- Edge comments on what happened in the Ortz vs HBK match. Orton's music hits and he's not even posing he's so angry. He comes out and gets all angry at Edge and he's shouting that he won that match and he's number 1 contender and is it horribly disturbing that I'm finding Angry!Shouting!Orton really hot? I digress. HBK comes out and makes his claim as number 1 contender as well, because HBK vs Cena will be the Rematch To End All Rematches (or something to the effect of). John Cena comes out and until his music ends, you don't really hear the boos. Lolz. John comes out with a great line right off the bat: "We're out here, supposed to be talking about the WWE Championship, but y'all are out here talking about each other's packages!" I don't remember what happened to Edge's package, but Cena says Randy's never had one and Shawn's unhappy with what he's got, lolz. He addresses all 3 one by one, saying he beat Edge in Edge's hometown, so if Edge wants to be broken in half again, give him the where and when. He tells Ortz that he's just never had enough guts to step up to the plate and make a challenge, but now that he's figured it's his time and he's ready and if he wants to dance, John is easy to find. John agrees with HBK that their Wrestlemania rematch would be Friggin' Sweet (eeeehehehehehehe, for those of you who know). Coach interrupts and says he makes the decisions around here, and he decides that at Backlash, Cena will face off against Edge and Ortz, and whoever gets the pin gets the championship. Mick and Michael come out and overrule him (YAAAAAAAAAAAY), and says the Backlash main event will be Cena vs Ortz vs Edge vs HBK for the WWE Championship. Let's see Cena stay undefeated at Backlash now, says Cena haters.
Match 5 -- Bobby Lashley (c) vs Shane McMahon - Title vs Hair match --- Lashley won by DQ after Shane knocked the ref out. Vince then comes down to the ring with AAE and Umaga and tells Lashley that at Backlash, it will be Lashley vs Umaga vs Shane vs Vince for the ECW Championship. OY VAY.
After RAW Went Off The Air --- The McMahons and Umaga continue to humiliate and beat up Lashley, and then Vince puts on the ECW belt and parades around as if it's his.
~ MARCIANA ~
